In Loving Memory of my Grandma

http://www.legacy.com/saltlaketribune/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=99103686

Most of you know that I lost my precious, sweet Grandma Norma on the 2nd of December. She died of natural causes, that all started with a damn broken hip. She fell on the Thursday night/Friday morning before her death.

My mom asked me if I wanted to speak at her funeral, but I just couldn't do it. My heart felt that it had been shattered to a billion pieces, and I had no idea where to start picking up the pieces. Every little thing that reminded me of her caused me to break down and cry. I rarely slept, and when I did, it wasn't restful. My little Milo sure helped me through this, he is such a joy.

Grandma's funeral was the 7th. There was a viewing on the 6th. They really did an amazing job, she looked as if her herself had applied her makeup, ever so meticulously as she did in life. Her hair was perfectly teased...she would have been happy with the results.

My grandma was so important to me. My sisters and I were lucky in that we grew up just around the corner from her. We were always over there visiting. She had a stack of photo albums for each of her children full of pictures. We would sit on her bed for hours and look through those albums. When we would spend the night, she would let us wear her silky PJ's (which were entirely too big on us little girls) and make us hot cakes for breakfast in the morning. Hot cakes...lol...always caused a bit of an argument. You see, they aren't called hot cakes, they are pancakes we would say to her. She would put the syrup in her fancy glass bottle, and we would talk over breakfast, or read the newspaper.

It was her house that we went to when we were meeting our dad for visitation. He would pick us up and drop us off there every Friday. And just about every Friday, she was there for us...waiting. There are only a few times that I can remember her being out of town. And then, she would walk us to the corner, flashlight in hand, and wait for us to safely enter our home before she turned around to walk back to her house.

Come Christmas, the little bedroom was turned into gift central. The bed was covered two to three packages high with gifts for every member of her family, and of course, covered with an afghan so as to deter peeking eyes (which only led to more peeking).

There wasn't a birthday she missed, an Easter, a Christmas. Every holiday I can remember from childhood...she was there. She always told you how much she loved you, how proud she was of her family. Her place was always clean. She always had cookies for us, always had an open lap. We would lay with our head in her lap and fall asleep or just get really relaxed while she tickled our faces and necks. And when we would try to return the favor, near her mouth, she would come alive and pretend to try to bite us, always resulting in screeches of laughter.

I remember the songs she would sing to us. I remember the funny shows she would watch on TV. Or the journals...she would write in every night, diligently recording the temperature, sun rise/sun set, barometric pressure, ect.

When I got into my older teens, she moved away to Nevada. It was hard not having her around, but I had so much going on as well. Her visits were always a joyous occasion, we would sit at the table, holding hands, and just talk about stuff, life in general. We started writing letters back and forth, though, I think I ended up dropping the ball on that. I remember one letter said, "So are you still working with that DNA stuff?" :)

She moved back to Utah about a year or so ago and was living with my Aunt. One day, at my mom's, we were talking. I asked her, "Grandma, do you really love everyone in the family? There are ones that steal, most smoke and drink (she was very LDS), some have done prison time....how can you love that?" She sat and looked at me, and then said, "Well Sarah, those are the ones that need the most love, don't you think?"

And those words ring with me all the time now. As hard as it is to support those who can not seem to get their feet under them, and it seems easier to turn your back to them, by her example, it's not the answer. Without love, no one can prevail in this world anymore.

My grandma taught me a lot. She taught me to reach for my goals, to love everyone and to forgive those who wronged you. She taught me what love is, how to be a strong woman, and how to be the best person I can.

The last time I saw her in a coherent state was at Milo's 1st birthday party. I was so happy that she made it, and felt bad that I didn't get to spend more time with her. I just found the card she gave to him, and it opened the flood gates once again. I am so sad that Milo will never get the chance to know her as I did. He will, at least, have her as a distant shining star. Her memory will live on, because I will always talk about her to him.

How I long for her touch, her comfort. My heart is heavy. She is so missed, and so loved by so many. She was a wonderful person, they don't come much better.

I love you Grandma.